For survivors, today

Today, the living victims of Jeffrey Epstein are likely feeling a whole lot of feelings. As are survivors across the country, as they watch the torrent of news about Epstein’s emails, Donald Trump’s involvement, and the flood of social media commentary in response.

It’s so much. And before I tap out another sentence I just want to tell any survivor that happens to read this essay that I am holding you in my heart. This is really so much.

And mostly what I want to say is that I wish people listened to you. I wish you didn’t have to lay your trauma bare over and over again in an attempt to get justice. I wish the world was a safer place to disclose your trauma and without worry that you will be raked over the coals, revictimized and retraumatized. I wish you didn’t have to witness people in positions of great power suppress, minimize, openly question, or simply not acknowledge the abuse you suffered. That you didn’t have to see an abuser occupy the highest position of power in the land, enabled and empowered by countless people who have caused great harm themselves. And that you didn’t have to watch family members and friends vote to put him back in office a second time.

I wish the media did a better job of holding your stories and giving you more agency on how those stories are told. That you didn’t have to read the snarky comments or rape jokes that people post simply to get more clicks, without regard for who might be reading them. And I wish people remembered that survivors are everywhere.

I wish that politicians, policy makers, and the public focused energy and resources on what actually keeps people safe. That people would care less about stopping abortions and more about stopping the sexual assault and reproductive coercion that lead to so many unwanted pregnancies. I wish for a political environment where the programs that respond to and prevent trauma have robust resources, broad support, and never have to worry about losing their funding.

I long for a country that listened to survivors like Anita Hill, Christine Blasey Ford, and E. Jean Carroll. If we had, the United States would be a very different country, with very different people holding positions of power. I so wish that people understood that electing and elevating abusers sends all the wrong messages, and that abusers invariably make abusive policies and abusive decisions. And I really wish people saw abuse as disqualifying in the first place.

And I wish that adults saw what is happening today and took it as an opportunity to educate their children. Talk to them about healthy relationships, what respect looks like, and how consent works.

I dream of a world where people listened to you. Where you got the support you needed when you needed it. Where you didn’t have to bear the news of today, knowing that we all knew about Trump and Epstein all along — that we all knew because you told us.

And most importantly, I wish that you never had to go through your trauma in the first place.

May we all work toward a work with more safety, more healing, and way more listening. Real listening.